i keep telling myself i deserve better but im just beginning to realize that if i deserved someone better, then i would get someone better. If i can only get dicks, then maybe thats because i’m a dick too.
its funny how a happy person can turn sad so easily but its much harder to do the opposite
i used to be able to tell you everything about me. you were the only person who knew all my secrets but now i just cant. i cant tell you how alone i feel, how upset i am. and when i finally do, i know that you think im lying, im exaggerating.. but if i told you everything, if i told you everything thats happened, maybe youd believe me that im not happy. i miss whoever the hell i used to be. whoever the hell you all still think i am
seriously you blow me off for a second time now? so you say you like me and want to see me. do you actually even care, do you think about how i feel. maybe i spent the past hour picking out a nice outfit and doing my makeup nicely so i could be all that you expect me to be. maybe i was all ready in my jacket and shoes ready to leave for you when you said “another time”. maybe i had printed out directions for my brother and arranged a pickup time so that i would be allowed to see you. maybe just maybe i tried really hard and you didnt. maybe when i said “yeah another time :)” i didnt mean it. maybe fuck you
